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Dec. 28th, 2005 10:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deliriumcrowI was looking at this entry a bit ago. And it seems right, at the end of the year, to comment on that list of goals ... Not so much that they were resolutions, per se, but whatever. They're things.
"I will graduate school, with honors. High honors, if I can manage it. Which is looking possible after all."
Done. And done. Not sure if they were high honours, but i finished with a 3.53, which is well above the 3.25 required for regular honours.
"I will shoot and develop more photographs."
Umm. Well. I shot a hell of a lot ... most of it recently has been digital, but there's a pile of undeveloped film on one of my book cases ... I really need to do something about that. Especially teh 120 roll, with all the shots that might or might not have come out of my father's family. And then, there are the things that I don't remember shooting at all ... who knows if those came out. :)
"I will actually make some of the things I've been planning."
And then planned a few more things. And finished some things that were planned several years ago. And then got bored, and did other things entirely, and then made more stuff, and now I have no more room for stuff, and fidgety hands.
"I will remember how it was that I used to write so much, and resume doing so. Because I like it, and it was always something I loved. And I will not forget to do it anymore."
Eh. not doing so well on that. Which is not to say that I've not written anything because that would be patently false, just that I've not written much. not sure about qulaity of effort, either.
"I will draw more, and take my sketchbook with me anywhere I go. Just in case. And I will improve my skills, with much practice."
I took my sketchbook to some places. Mostly, though, it was the camera.But I have been drawing, even if not quite things that are in a real world. This one, anyway.
"I will paint."
Just did that! Not much of it yet, but I have the easel out and set up and with a canvas on it, and it's even almost dry now. So I can start a new one ... or maybe finish one of the old ones. :)
"I will make the hurdy gurdy and learn to play it, if not very well then at least enough to make pleasant noises with it. And I will sing more."
The hurdy gurdy is on the kitchen counter, being glued together, because I've not yet finished it. Umm. This is also to say that I don't yet know how to play it. But I have been singing, and have started to get back the upper register, which is kind of nice. I'll never be so high a soprano as I was, but that's sort of unnecessary. I like lower voices on women anyway, and being a woman, yeah. Logical conclusion.
"I will go to Galway more often, take part in family, and use their piano. Often. Often enough that my hands unfreeze and remember how to play again."
We all know where this went, and how it turned out, and the disaster it turned into. I swore ten years ago I'd never go back, and there was a reason for that. and I should have listened to the wisdom of my 17 year old self.
"I will learn how to play the violin, whatever it takes. (Need a new bow now....)"
never happened. Nwver got the new bow, either ...
"I will figure out just how it is that people are happy, and i will treasure that knowledge and not forget it."
Working on it.
"I will try to get an internship with one of the conservation places around here and a job at a museum, to make my resume look better for grad schools."
Didn't get an internship, didn't work at a museum, and have no idea where I'm going to school. Still. though ... I might move to LA with Kat and Dan and Avery, keep the Household together, and try for UCLA's folklore program after I get residency in CA. It would be not-here, and near water, and it's a damned good school, and I can probably get into it. And I'd not be alone there. Realized today that I don't really want to go to Seattle after all ... I'm not going to go into my reasons for that, but suffice to say, I'm thinking today that folklore is really where I should be, moreso even than in fixing old books.
**sigh** I"m still on the road. The path leads on and on, and I've no idea where it will end. Or if it ever will.
I know what I want, and it either does or does not make sense for a vagabond like me. I want something permanent, something unfixind in and untouched by time. Roses that do not wither, thorns that do not break off in my skin, wood that does not rot and stone that does not crumble. And yes, that might sound like stagnation in a world where all things are marked by time, where stagnation is an illness and challenge and change is health, but at this point, I want something stable. More, even than just wanting to be loved, I want a home. A Situation, rather than Passage Between. noon and midnight rather than twilight. Or maybe just to sink into those hollow hills and never look back.
(See, that last sentence should be explanation enough for why I want to go into folklore rather than something more "normal".)
"I will graduate school, with honors. High honors, if I can manage it. Which is looking possible after all."
Done. And done. Not sure if they were high honours, but i finished with a 3.53, which is well above the 3.25 required for regular honours.
"I will shoot and develop more photographs."
Umm. Well. I shot a hell of a lot ... most of it recently has been digital, but there's a pile of undeveloped film on one of my book cases ... I really need to do something about that. Especially teh 120 roll, with all the shots that might or might not have come out of my father's family. And then, there are the things that I don't remember shooting at all ... who knows if those came out. :)
"I will actually make some of the things I've been planning."
And then planned a few more things. And finished some things that were planned several years ago. And then got bored, and did other things entirely, and then made more stuff, and now I have no more room for stuff, and fidgety hands.
"I will remember how it was that I used to write so much, and resume doing so. Because I like it, and it was always something I loved. And I will not forget to do it anymore."
Eh. not doing so well on that. Which is not to say that I've not written anything because that would be patently false, just that I've not written much. not sure about qulaity of effort, either.
"I will draw more, and take my sketchbook with me anywhere I go. Just in case. And I will improve my skills, with much practice."
I took my sketchbook to some places. Mostly, though, it was the camera.But I have been drawing, even if not quite things that are in a real world. This one, anyway.
"I will paint."
Just did that! Not much of it yet, but I have the easel out and set up and with a canvas on it, and it's even almost dry now. So I can start a new one ... or maybe finish one of the old ones. :)
"I will make the hurdy gurdy and learn to play it, if not very well then at least enough to make pleasant noises with it. And I will sing more."
The hurdy gurdy is on the kitchen counter, being glued together, because I've not yet finished it. Umm. This is also to say that I don't yet know how to play it. But I have been singing, and have started to get back the upper register, which is kind of nice. I'll never be so high a soprano as I was, but that's sort of unnecessary. I like lower voices on women anyway, and being a woman, yeah. Logical conclusion.
"I will go to Galway more often, take part in family, and use their piano. Often. Often enough that my hands unfreeze and remember how to play again."
We all know where this went, and how it turned out, and the disaster it turned into. I swore ten years ago I'd never go back, and there was a reason for that. and I should have listened to the wisdom of my 17 year old self.
"I will learn how to play the violin, whatever it takes. (Need a new bow now....)"
never happened. Nwver got the new bow, either ...
"I will figure out just how it is that people are happy, and i will treasure that knowledge and not forget it."
Working on it.
"I will try to get an internship with one of the conservation places around here and a job at a museum, to make my resume look better for grad schools."
Didn't get an internship, didn't work at a museum, and have no idea where I'm going to school. Still. though ... I might move to LA with Kat and Dan and Avery, keep the Household together, and try for UCLA's folklore program after I get residency in CA. It would be not-here, and near water, and it's a damned good school, and I can probably get into it. And I'd not be alone there. Realized today that I don't really want to go to Seattle after all ... I'm not going to go into my reasons for that, but suffice to say, I'm thinking today that folklore is really where I should be, moreso even than in fixing old books.
**sigh** I"m still on the road. The path leads on and on, and I've no idea where it will end. Or if it ever will.
I know what I want, and it either does or does not make sense for a vagabond like me. I want something permanent, something unfixind in and untouched by time. Roses that do not wither, thorns that do not break off in my skin, wood that does not rot and stone that does not crumble. And yes, that might sound like stagnation in a world where all things are marked by time, where stagnation is an illness and challenge and change is health, but at this point, I want something stable. More, even than just wanting to be loved, I want a home. A Situation, rather than Passage Between. noon and midnight rather than twilight. Or maybe just to sink into those hollow hills and never look back.
(See, that last sentence should be explanation enough for why I want to go into folklore rather than something more "normal".)
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no subject
Date: 2005-12-29 03:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-29 07:08 pm (UTC)what is the range for high honours, anyway?
no subject
Date: 2005-12-30 08:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-31 12:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-29 10:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-29 10:46 pm (UTC)Oh yes, might possibly maybe move to LA. Just to warn you. ;) No dicision has been reached on that yet, but it's a maybe. It's entered back into the list of possibilities....
no subject
Date: 2005-12-29 10:49 pm (UTC)This girl has no memory anymore. :)
no subject
Date: 2005-12-29 11:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-30 01:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-30 01:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-30 02:21 am (UTC)