Things about yesterday.

It happened. Yesterday, I mean, yesterday happened. And it was indeed an odd series of events. I had no breakfast, and this was a bad idea as will be shown in time. First thing after getting off the bus, I went over to where the anti-choice people were setting up again, and read all the slogans chalked on the ground in bright colors. A girl from my lifedrawing class came by, saying that, well, the truth hurts, doesn't it? And said that they don't get this pissed off about anti war protests, with which she strongly disagrees, now, do they? Yes, and this is why I was almost run over with a horse and a firetruck. While standing on the sidewalk. Eventually I was annoyed enough, and desperate enough to get out of the conversation, that I excused myself by saying that I'm going to go over and volunteer at the Planned Parenthood table over there now. They were very nice, and did in fact want people to help pass out fliers and *be peaceful, for pity's sake*.

So to class, still growling.

And then class was over, and I was going to go to the Campus Center and eat luch and tell the other people why I wasn't going to be there, but there really wasn't any time. I told Jeremy and Sarah C., who decided to come out and help. Jeremy, of course, wanted to start a riot, and made lokes about A Modest Proposal. Eh, so did I for that matter. Sarah and I passed out fliers until I gelped hold up a sheet to block the view, which in all honesty, didn't accomplish much at all. They were aomewhere around 20 feet high, and there's not much you can do to that with a bed sheet. There were a few shouting matches, some controlled, intellectual debates, and someone said something about "Can't tell if it's human.....tastes like pork..." I have no idea how these statements were linked, but it was funny, in that Modest Proposal sort of way. Unfortunately, jeremy had already left by that time, so I couldn't tell him about it.

As to the dispaly itself.... Here's the link to their site.
http://www.cbrinfo.org/index.html
Basically, it was 10 foot posters, two high, depicting 1st trimester abortions, and shots of lynchings, concentration camps, and the Twin Towers in flames, claiming that these things are all linked. They were invited by the College Standard, one of the most conservative papers on campus. No one was notified that this would be happening, and we had no idea that it would arrive until the day it happened. There were no warnings posted aside from om one door leaving the Campus Center. And nothing from any of the outdoor approaches, unless you count eh ones mounted just below the posters themselves. I don't, it doesn't give any chance to choose not to see them. People who were decidedly anti-abortion were offended by this show, saying it was too radical, too graphic, and had essentially hijacked issues to which they had no rights. I don't know if that would have bothered me so much had they done anything to try to promote anti-racism, but it doens't appear that they've bothered. Nah, I'd still be upset. People were in tears, and one person projectile vomited on them, from some reports.

So in effect, I, most of my friends, and many other people have been called Nazis because we support a woman's right to make her own decisions about what is and is not moral, and what is and is not safe for her body. This is slander, if not directed with names. And the first amendment, as I recall, does not cover slander. I heard them speaking against aborting a fetus from rape or incest, regardless of the age of the mother, or her wishes, saying that it isn't the child's fault. Or the fact that a girl's child by her father/brother/whatever is more or less going to be genetically unfit. I can respect a woman's decision to have the child of her rapist if that is her choice, but onlt if it is in truth her choice.

Here's a problem I have with the Nazi equation: Nazis wanted to exterminate the Jews. If a fetus is like a Jew, and I am like a Nazi, then don't I want to destroy all fetuses? And wouldn't that make me then for the destruction of the species? (So maybe you might want to apply this argument to a slightly less pissed off person, preferably one who does not hate at the moment most of humanity and wish them ill.) Aside from the fact that I am not fully convinced that a fetus is truly a person until it begins to have some sort of awareness and the ability to survive outside of the womb. Neither am I convinced that it isn'though. I am quite certain that there are certain circimstances in which bearing a child, regardless of the possibilty of adoption, is not a good idea. Particularly if the mother's health is an issue. And there are problems with the adoption process as well, which I haven't really looked at extensively yet, but there are many children who end up unwanted, and in the foster system because no one will adopt them.

Again, I am ranting. So enough of this.

I met some really nifty peope at the protest, and we got still more coffee after it was over, while waiting for Remy and Jen to show up. And then Sarah M arrived unexpected, and Remy, and Jen, and the noght did far more pleasant things. My brides maids dress is here, and I tried it on, and have the option of either gaining weight back or losing more so it can be taken in, either way resulting in it fitting. I vote for the second. I almost can't wait for the wedding to be over so I can wear the corset in regular life, since I'm not allowed to wear it until then. :)

And I have both the movies I ordered! Yay! Wicker Man arrived on Saturday, and Eyes of Fire was in the mailbox when we got home. Movie night soon!

Short addendum to the last post.

I knew I forgot something.

I don't have a problem with them having their display in public. As Kat pointed out, there is the right for even the KKK to march, and the Nazis and whoever else decided they want to be seen, and for the rest of the country to be pissed about it and have counter demonstrations. It's just the way things are. If one person has the right to voice an opinion, so does everyone else, no matter how wrong you may think they are. It's that whole free exchange of ideas, I guess. So yeah. If they wanted to have big posters of dead people, then go for it. But don't call me a Nazi in the process. Don't accuse me of supporting genocide, because I don't. Your right to free speech ends at accusations like that, because it hinders the freedom of thought and debate. And it hurts people.

Also, there was a single soul there, sort of a third party person, promoting the nascent Campus Libertarian Party, and freedom of speech. He amused me, sitting there in a folding chair with sunglasses on and enjoying the spectacle.

And the reason not eating was a bad idea? I ended up having in the course of the day, a cookie and a bagel. Not really enough, if you ask me.

Purity test!

So I knew I was impure. Now you do too. Damn but I feel like a little trollop now....

( Read more... )

More forgotten things.

First. On the issue of fairness, as mentioned in a reply to a comment. In February, the Vagina Monologues were going to hang in the Campus Center a fabric advert sign with a picture of a vagina on it, and Karen Hitchcock, the president, said that it was too controversial. And this wasn't. I don't get it.

Second. They were originally supposed to make a sort of tunnel through which you could voluntarilly pass through, knowing that's what you would see. Fine, that's great, no projectile vomiting then. (And really, that's what you get for putting gruesone images outside a place where people go to *eat*. Seriously, people, have some forethought.) I would not have protested that, as if you put yourself through that you did it voluntarilly. It's like prosecuting someone for nudity, when the only reason you saw them was the fact that you were looking through the keyhole. Anyway.

It did accomplish one thing, as now people are actually discussing things on campus, debating the issues, and thinking. I approve of that.

And I have begun to realize that my opinions differ strongly from many of my friends here. It's made me somewhat defensive of my past and my choices, knowing that in the same situation again, I'd do the exact same thing. Whne I drank that tea, I didn't know whether or not I was really pregnant, but I was pretty sure I was. I was something like two months late at that point, so it seemed pretty logical to conclude that. I smoked regularly, drank a lot, did drugs, and didn't eat much at all, and was rather anaemic. The father would have given minimal to no support, had I kept it, and none during gestation. I had no means to improve my diet at that point (most of the vices I indulged in were given to me, or very cheap) and was terribly, almost suicidally depressed. And as we all know, pregnant hormones don't usually make you more balanced. My friends were already at the limit of what they could do for me. So abortion, as quickly as possible, seemed like a really good idea. It was either one of us, or more than likely, both of us, and I decided that I wanted to live. And pennyroyal is really cheap.

Turns out I was not pregnant, so it didn't matter anyway, but the intention was the same. And I've given the recipe to people who I knew were pregnant and didn't want to go to PP, and didn't see any other options. It worked for them. I have no regrets. Not for my choice to drink it, or for giving it to others.

I do not see abortion as a form of birth control, neither do I think it should be the first choice. Adoption is a good option, if you can't keep it yourself, and should be promoted strongly. Abortion should not be the first option considered, unless you really have no other option. And those cases do exist. I know a woman, who, had she come home pregnant as a teenager, would have been killed, or at least beaten to irreprable damage. I don't think the rape excuse would have been accepted either--obviously, according to her father, if she put herself in that situation, she must have been asking for it. Incest is a good reason for an abortion, for genetic reasons. And, in my opinion, so is rape. Had any of the people that raped me ever managed to produce anything from it, I would have killed it as quickly as I would kill them. I didn't want them in me in the first place, why would I want any part of them in me for nine fucking months? I tried hard enough in the months following to erase their touch from my memory without a child to remind me, I can't really imagine how much more difficult it would have been with that ever-present reminder leeching off of *my* body, demanding *my* resources and *my* thoughts. I don't blame the kid for its father's evil. Or for getting itself cought somewhere that is an unwilling host at best. But I also am not a factory. I don't consider this selfish. In a way I do a;most envy the women who give birth to their rapists children, who can separate the evil of the seed from the potential it holds. I don't know how much of a rapists evil is genetic and how much environmental, and I don't really want to know. And from another point of view, I also don't want to give anything that sort of a start in life. It's pretty fucking miserably, really. The world's an ugly enough place as it is without being created by it.my thought aren't terribly coherent on this one. I'm torn, in a way, between remebering how it felt to be raped and extend that for several months, and trying to be rational, and keep that pain at a distance, but close enough to think about. It's a delicate balance, and I'm not doing so well at it. Better than before, where I just wanted to cut myself and bleed them out again, bot now I want to go out and kill them. Yes, I am decidedly pro-death, for those that deserve it. So in that, I can definately understand Remy's adherence to post-natal abortions. let them prove they are worthy of death before its dealt to them.

I digress. In this current state, I would not have an abortion, unless it was the product of a rape. Sorry, Remy, you have no say in that, it's still my body, and I don't want that. Remy's kid can stay, and is invited freely. Just not yet. But if the birth control fails, then, well, I guess we'll have to get the crib fixed sooner rather than later. I'm healthy, and we have money, and I have support from Remy, and friends, and family, so adoption wouldn't happen either.

So here, by this circuitous route, I reach my conclusion. Even if I never have the need or desire for an abortion, even if by some strange twist of emotions I should decide to keep a rapists child (gods forbid that there ever be a need), I don't want to deny another woman the right to make the same choice for herself, and will fight to preserve it. I am in no position to judge another's circumstances, just as no one else could judge mine.

And now, having been sufficiently distrought for the past several days, I am done with the abortion issue. Until it comes up again.